Ok. It's frustrating. I don't think I look pregnant and I don't feel like people look at me and think I'm pregnant, so they ask. They are more looking at TJ and thinking, "Wow, he's 2, you should be pregnant." It's not their place. It's not their business.
This decision isn't about how old TJ is or how far apart our children should be spaced. This decision is about readiness of every family member, and includes the couple and the Lord. That's it.
Many couples have a hard time getting pregnant. Many couples try for years. Many couples have to get fertility treatments to try in-vitro. Many couples have no issue getting pregnant, but many lose their babies through miscarriages. Many couples are considering adoption or foster care. Some couples have kids 15 months apart and some have them 10 years apart. Everyone is different. It's never good to judge, but even worse to judge about expanding families.
To friends and ward members: I will tell you when I'm ready to tell you. I'm not going to keep this big secret and make it weird for you when I grow a belly and you think, "She never told me she was pregnant!?!?!" Obviously, if you haven't heard that I'm pregnant from me, I'm probably not pregnant or if I am, I don't want to tell anyone yet in case I have a miscarriage.
To family: Usually people tell their families in a special, creative or funny way. They don't just say it over a text or in casual conversation. "Are you pregnant?" "Yeah....."
If you are a family member, don't ask! I'll probably lie to you if I am and I don't like lying to people's faces. I may have something planned or in the works to tell you when I'm ready to tell you.
Just be patient. Don't blurt out everything that's on your mind, even when it's pregnancy related. I'll get pregnant and tell you. It's big news when it happens, when it happens.
Sooooo are you pregnant? Totally kidding :) too soon to joke about?
ReplyDeleteWell said, people are way too nosy and pushy about this subject.
Hurumph!
ReplyDeleteI agree. On the same issue, I hate when people ask me when I'm going to have kids, or even tell me that I should. It gets really awkward when I tell them I don't want to yet. And even when I've talked to my friends who are/have been pregnant, they tell me people say the dumbest things that can offend a pregnant woman (for example: "You're huge! When are you due?!").
ReplyDeleteIt's nobody's business or place to be involved in such an important, life and family changing decision.
This was perfect.
ReplyDeleteThe 'expectation' of the two years is a big anxiety of mine. I hate it, and how it makes me feel like a bad person. People need to keep themselves to themselves more often.
Yay, thanks for sharing! I liked this! There's NEVER a good time to ask this question, in my opinion. When you're not trying to get pregnant, it's rude, when you might be pregnant, it's awkward, and when you are trying (and if it's been a long time trying)it's hurtful! When my baby was six months, people started asking me about her next sibling which is CRAZY to me! Mind your own business, people!
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