"Are you pregnant?" Rant

First of all, I'm going on a rant right now. Second of all, I am not pregnant. Third of all, I get asked if I'm pregnant almost every day by friends, ward members and family members. Which is why I'm writing this. It probably won't lessen the amount of times I get asked if I'm pregnant, but maybe it will a little or maybe it'll open up someone's eyes as to how I'm feeling or as to how women feel about this subject. Some of my readers may feel the same. Tell me your thoughts in the comments below.

Ok. It's frustrating. I don't think I look pregnant and I don't feel like people look at me and think I'm pregnant, so they ask. They are more looking at TJ and thinking, "Wow, he's 2, you should be pregnant." It's not their place. It's not their business.

This decision isn't about how old TJ is or how far apart our children should be spaced. This decision is about readiness of every family member, and includes the couple and the Lord. That's it.

Many couples have a hard time getting pregnant. Many couples try for years. Many couples have to get fertility treatments to try in-vitro. Many couples have no issue getting pregnant, but many lose their babies through miscarriages. Many couples are considering adoption or foster care. Some couples have kids 15 months apart and some have them 10 years apart. Everyone is different. It's never good to judge, but even worse to judge about expanding families.

To friends and ward members: I will tell you when I'm ready to tell you. I'm not going to keep this big secret and make it weird for you when I grow a belly and you think, "She never told me she was pregnant!?!?!" Obviously, if you haven't heard that I'm pregnant from me, I'm probably not pregnant or if I am, I don't want to tell anyone yet in case I have a miscarriage.

To family: Usually people tell their families in a special, creative or funny way. They don't just say it over a text or in casual conversation. "Are you pregnant?" "Yeah....."
If you are a family member, don't ask! I'll probably lie to you if I am and I don't like lying to people's faces. I may have something planned or in the works to tell you when I'm ready to tell you.

Just be patient. Don't blurt out everything that's on your mind, even when it's pregnancy related. I'll get pregnant and tell you. It's big news when it happens, when it happens.

Split Pea Sensory

I got this idea from Pinterest and decided to try it out. TJ was very excited about my new toys and didn't throw a fit when the TV went off, which was a big deal. I was really surprised.

He loved the feel of them between his fingers. I tried it out too and LOVED it!

He can be sort of OCD at times and it's so cute to watch him pick up just one and carefully put it in it's place.

He was also methodical. He filled one row, then went to the next.

Clapping!!

I saw him start to do this and .... couldn't stop it. Lots of vacuuming for us. :)

I asked him to smile here. It's a so so smile. :) At least he was looking.

Then I told him to show his teeth....:)

Kissing the "beans"

Momma broke out the funnel!

This was super fun! It was neat to watch him and see his little mind working. Next time I'll use real beans. They are a little bigger. ;)

Cafe Rio Meal

 

This is both Todd and my new favorite meal. It's delicious and I'm really surprised that we both put it on the top of our list. Todd has meals that he LOVES that I can't stand and vise versa. This meal tops everything, EVER! Just buy a lot of cilantro and pork and go to town!!

There are two ways to make this meal and both are fantastic. We did both last night and leftovers tonight.

Salad: lettuce, pork, rice, beans, dressing, etc. Other toppings chips, guacamole, pico de gallo, cheese.

Or burritos: Pour a small amount of extra enchilada sauce from pork into bottom of pan. Wrap pork, rice, beans in tortillas. Pour more sauce on top of burritos and sprinkle with cheese. Bake at 400 degrees for 15-20 minutes or until inside is hot. Yummy with dressing on top of that too.



Mexican-Style Sweet Shredded Pork



4 pounds boneless pork shoulder roast
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
2 teaspoons chili powder
1 teaspoon onion powder
1-2 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 (10 oz) cans enchilada sauce
1 cup brown sugar, divided
1/2 cup salsa
1/2 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1/2 cup apple juice

1. Trim the visible fat from the roast and sprinkle with salt, pepper, chili powder, and onion powder. Use your hands to massage the spices over all the sides of the meat.

2. Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Sear the pork roast for about 1 minute on all sides or until meat surface is golden brown.

3. While the meat is searing, combine the enchilada sauce, 2/3 cup brown sugar, salsa, Worcestershire sauce, and apple juice in a slow-cooker. Add the pork, cover and cook on low for 7 hours with lid on the entire time.

4. Remove pork and shred, discarding any pieces of fat. Add the additional 1/3 cup brown sugar to slow cooker and turn heat to high. Add shredded meat. Simmer with lid off for 30 minutes.

Taken from Our Best Bites cookbook.


Cilantro Lime Rice

1 cup extra long grain rice or basmati rice
Juice from 1/2 lime
2 cups water
1 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons fresh chopped cilantro
3 teaspoons vegetable oil

1. In a pot, add rice, water, 1 tsp oil and salt.

2. Boil on hig huntil most of the water evaporates. When the water just skims the top of the rice, reduce to low and cover about 15 minutes. Shut off flame and keep covered an additional 5 minutes. Or use a rice cooker with the water, rice, oil and salt.

3. In a medium bowl, combine chopped cilantro, lime juice, rice and remaining oil and toss until completely mixed.



http://www.skinnytaste.com/2009/03/chipotle-cilantro-lime-rice-4-pts.html 

Black Beans



2 tablespoons olive oil
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 can black beans, rinsed and drained
1 1/3 cup tomato juice OR 1 can petite tomatoes
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons fresh chopped cilantro

1. In a nonstick skillet, cook garlic and cumin in olive oil over medium heat until you can smell it.

2. Add beans, tomato juice and salt. Continually stir until heated through.

3. Just before serving stir in the cilantro.

http://www.favfamilyrecipes.com/2008/09/cafe-rio-cilantro-lime-rice-and-black.html (at this URL there is also another rice recipe that's yummy)

Cilantro Ranch Dressing



1 packet TRADITIONAL Hidden Valley Ranch mix (not buttermilk)
1 cup mayonnaise
1 cup buttermilk
2 tomatillos, remove husk, diced
1/2 bunch fresh cilantro
1 clove garlic, minced
Juice of 1 lime
1 jalapeno (if you like it spicy, keep the seeds; otherwise, remove)

1. Mix all ingredients together in the blender. That's it! Store in refrigerator.

http://www.favfamilyrecipes.com/2008/09/cafe-rio-cilantro-ranch-dressing.html

TJ's Birth Story - It's Long

A lot of my friends have recently had babies and they have written the story on their blog. I was going to link back to it today and realized I never wrote it on the blog, just in my journal. I wanted to type it out and share it with others today. It may not be fun for you to read it, but I know when I read other's birth stories, I remember my own and enjoy learning and hearing how a new precious son or daughter of our Heavenly King came into the world.

Here's our story.

I need to start when my mom came into town which was his due date, Sept 8th. She kept me company and my spirits high. I went into the doctor again on the 9th. I still wasn't dilated at all, but my cervix had softened, thank goodness. We scheduled a date to be induced which was Tuesday the 14th. If I still hadn't dilated they would put me on some pills. Once things were moving and I was dilated they would put me on Pitocin, probably the next morning and TJ would be born Wednesday the 15th (1 week overdue). I was okay with that. The longer he stayed inside the womb, the better. His lungs could develop and he would be a healthy weight. It was definitely uncomfortable for me, but I wanted to do all I could for him.

We asked the doctor about some ways to help induce labor and he said sex, walking and whatever wives tales we wanted to try. We had nothing to lose at this point. My mom had been learning reflexology and learning how to give someone a foot zone where certain pressure points could help and he said that was fine. Dr. Terry then also mention Trios, a little cafe in SLC where they are known for this chicken garlic pizza that puts women in labor. We thought it would be fun so we went there for dinner with Todd and Jolene Hope. It was a fancy place with weird combinations of ingredients but everything I tried was good. Todd and I split the pizza. It had quartered garlic cloves on it as toppings.

We went home and watched Weekend at Bernie's and Jolene gave me a hand rub and my mom gave me a foot rub. It felt so good! Todd said my mom was pampering me too much, but I disagreed. ;)

The next morning (Friday) I wasn't feeling good and couldn't sleep. I finally got out of bed at 8:30 and realized that I was having cramps, like menstrual cramps. I knew that contractions were supposed to feel like cramps so I guessed that I had started labor. They were very minor at first and came in waves. After awhile they became almost predictable. We called Calista (my mother in law and OBGYN nurse) and she said I was in the early stages of labor. WOW! Reality check. My mom had gone down to Provo to meet her sister and parents for lunch. We didn't want to tell her until we knew for sure. She was going to go down to Nephi and stay the night with her parents. We didn't want to ruin their time together, but if I was having this baby...

Todd didn't want to tell his siblings or dad, he just wanted to send them a text with TJ's picture on it. I thought that was mean and I told my siblings and family members. We didn't want it to get and out spread like crazy so no one was to tell. I started timing the contractions waiting for them to be 5 mins apart from start to start, 1 min long for an hour. Then we were supposed to go to the hospital. They quickly became 5 minutes apart, but weren't very intense. I could still go about my day. They weren't at all like you see in movies when the woman gets to the hospital. I showered and we packed our bags and headed to the hospital.

It wasn't the longest drive of my life. In fact, it went by really fast. Todd and I were both scared like we should've been. Todd kept changing the subject because he really didn't want to think about it. I would talk but I'd have to stop to get through a contraction. I knew that they would only get worse until I had my epidural which I had definitely planned on.

We get to the hospital and luckily find a decent parking spot. We got into Labor and Delivery and I had already checked in over the phone so I just had to confirm things. We got put into room #1 and nurses came in and put monitors on my belly checking his heart rate and my contractions. The nurse checked me and I was at a 1 1/2 and 70% effaced. I was so happy and relieved that I was even dilated at all! Huge improvement.

The first contraction that the monitored was pretty strong and the baby's heart rate dropped a ton. This was a big red flag. They said that me only being dilated to a 1 1/2 wouldn't get me admitted and they would send me home, but because his heart rate was dropping with each contraction I would be admitted to the hospital. I was glad we didn't have to go home. My mom arrived there at the hospital with happy tears in her eyes.

They did an ultrasound to see how much amniotic fluid there was to work with. They checked one quadrant, nothing. "Quadrant 2?" "None." "Quadrant 3?" "Nope." "Quadrant 4?" "Oh, maybe a little bit." There was only about a silver dollar's worth of fluid at the top of my uterus. So that was one reason why his HR decreased so much. There was no water to cushion each blow.

Once we were admitted, I got my epidural right away. My OB said that epidurals don't slow down the process of dilating so if I was going to get one eventually, might as well get one right away. The anesthesiologist was super nice and chill and explained every single thing that I would be feeling right before I felt it. Then I had oxygen and an IV and the monitors on my belly and Todd and I watched football. Todd did some homework and my mom crocheted. I finished reading the Book of Mormon. That was my goal, to finish before the baby came. The Labor and Delivery unit was paid for by the Church so there was a BOM in every room. Kinda cool.

Now we wait. Doctors and nurses came in every so often to check me and see if I wanted any more ice chips, since that is all I got to eat while I was there. When they weren't in the room, they said that they always had someone watching my tracing since it was kind of a high risk situation. They put me on Pit to see if that would help me progress because I really wasn't. That made my contraction about 2 minutes apart and about 1 minute long. If I didn't have the epidural that would've sucked. Before the epidural I couldn't talk through them and I can only imagine how much more they would hurt then with only a 1 minute break. They took me off Pit after awhile because they decided the more contractions I had, the more distress they were putting the baby in. My body kept the same pace though with the contractions on my own.

They decided to break my "water" or more like just pop the sack. Nothing came out. They then decided to put on an electrode on the baby's head to monitor him more accurately. And another monitor to track my contractions more accurately too. Also they pumped water into my uterus to give the baby a little more cushion.

They continued to monitor and check with no progress. At 10 pm on September 10th they checked me and I was only at a 3. I had been in labor for 14 hours, 6 hours in the hospital and I had only dilated another 1 1/2 cm. They were expecting me to be at a 6 or 7 by then. At midnight they began talking about the possibility of a c-section. At 1 am, September 11th, I was still only at a 3. They explained the need for a c-section to me. My mom had all of us c-section and only ever got to a 4 with any of us. I was wondering if that would be my case too and it seems that way. I had only heard c-section stories from her so I was okay with the idea, probably more than most. I was tired and didn't think I had the energy to push out a baby at that point.

One nurse came in to get me ready for the surgery. She got a call on her radio from other nurses. They asked if they needed to come hlep with the c-section. She said, "I'm looking at her tracing now. You just come when you can." So I wasn't termed an "emergency c-section." I call it an "ASAP c-section."

We were waiting for the anesthesiologist to come. It was a different guy and I really didn't like this new one. The nurses were saying that I started the day and now I was going to finish it. Every other woman that had come in after me had already had their babies. I was the last one. Not helpful ladies.

They wheeled me into the OR at about 1:20 am. Todd told them that he didn't want to see any of it. They were quickly accommodating him. They got him a chair right by my head and put up the curtain early. They gave me the bigger drugs and tested to see if they had taken effect. Todd said they were poking my stomach with a needle. RUDE! I didn't feel anything though. I had to put and keep my arms straight out. They put 2 warm blankets on me to feel me warm. Todd got suited up.

They started operating at 1:54 am. One nurse said, "I see an ear!" Another, "Oh he's got hair!" I was excited for hair!! And at 2:00 am our first child was born. I could actually feel him slip out of my stomach. I knew when our baby was born. There was a short time, probably about 1 or 2 seconds, although it felt longer, where I knew he was born but I didn't hear him make a sound. I thought for a second, "My baby's not crying!" but I waited a little longer before I said anything and he cried. That was the most beautiful sound ever. A nurse said, "He's got such a boy face. You can tell he's a boy." I told Todd to go with the baby, I was fine. I could tell on Todd's face that he was torn between being with me and our baby. I gave him permission to go and stay with him.

Todd brought him over and I got to see my little boy for the first time. He was so so cute! I instantly fell in love with his little face - since he was swaddled that's all I could see. :)

After I saw Todd and the baby I started shivering. It didn't make sense to me. I wasn't cold and I had warm blankets all over me. I was trying to hide my chattering teeth and shaky body because I was a little embarrassed. It kept getting worse and my whole upper body was eventually shaking uncontrollably. I had to keep my arms out stretched for some reason and the anesthesiologist kept putting my arms back out when I just wanted them close to my chest.

Both Todd and I had no clue what was going on. I thought maybe it was because I was going into shock. I did just have major surgery. Yeah, I didn't feel anything but that still doesn't mean that I wasn't just cut in half!! No one seemed worried or concern about me but Todd. It hurt so bad. My teeth hurt from hitting them together over and over and my shoulder muscles were throbbing from being tight and they were cramping and knotting up. My jaw was so sore. Todd tried to get me a mouth guard because he was almost certain I was going to chip a tooth. The anesthesiologist was so laid back and acted like he didn't care about me or doing his job. He might have been on his phone that's how out of it he was.

Todd set the baby in the little tub/bassinet because he was basically asleep. Then Todd began massaging my jaw and shoulder while they finished sewing me up. I kept telling his to switch from jaw to shoulders. It was so painful! It was sharp and intense and worse than any contraction I felt.

They wheeled me into a new room and put me on morphine to hlep the pain and to relax me to get the shakes to stop. I wanted to hold my baby so bad. I knew how much skin to skin helped and created that bond. But I didn't have control over my upper body and didn't want to drop our kid. As soon as I got control I wanted to hold him. It was so precious! We were a little family of three. I was so in love with him and everything instantly clicked.

Todd finally sent a text out to everyone, including his clueless family. :) It was and still is a very special day.

Happy Birthday TJ! We love you with all our hearts and have loved every moment of being your parents. You have grown and experienced so much in the last 2 years. Here's to eternity with you!

Our 5 Day 5 Year Anniversary

Todd and I have now been married for 5 years. It's so awesome to think about and we are so excited to see what the next 5 years throws at us. We've each gotten through 2 degrees, 6 moves in 3 different states, a beautiful baby boy, and then that little boy becomes diabetic and moves to the pump, half of a CPA exam, 3 busy busy busy accounting seasons, starting up a photography business and looking forward to being homeowners.

We talked yesterday on our anniversary and explained how much more we are in love with each other than we were 5 years ago. Todd used the word "care". He said "I care for you so much more." I said "I'm more invested in each of our happiness. I'm all in." It was a chat we had while he was getting ready for work, but it was deep and loving.

So during this busy season Todd has been working 75-85 hours a week, getting home around 11:30 at night. This will happen until the end of October. I wanted to be in charge of planning our anniversary this year, especially because he's swamped. I also knew that we couldn't do a huge thing; we couldn't do a cruise or even an overnight trip together. I wanted to do one little thing each day for the week leading up to our anniversary, surprise him a little each day.

I decided to focus on the 5 Love Languages. We both know each others love languages, but I wanted to touch each of them. 

Day 1

• Physical Touch

  This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

Today after Todd got home from a long day of work, I gave him a nice foot massage while he vegged on the couch (watching Jay Leno). :) I had sweet aromatherapy scents throughout the house and tried to make it a time for him to relax and relieve some stress from work.

Day 2

• Quality Time

  In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Todd got home from work and I had this date planned. I wanted to do it outside, but with West Nile mosquitoes flying around, we didn't risk it. But we set up a blanket in the living room and ate some Popsicles and had a little picnic. We just chatted about work and life and it was a sweet little date. We need to do stuff like this more often. It's not like it was hard or took a ton of thought or planning.

Day 3

• Acts of Service

  Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

This is a huge one for Todd. I woke up and made him breakfast (brown sugar muffins) and had the house all clean when he got home. I've really tried to have the house cleaner because I know how important it is for him to not feel like he has to work at home as well as work at work. After a 15 hour day, he shouldn't have to do dishes, although he would. I've got a true gentleman for a husband.

Day 4

• Receiving Gifts

  Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

I'd been planning this day for over a month. A few of my ideas fell through, but it still turned out to be fun and a great day. I befriended some of Todd's coworkers on FB because he wouldn't give me their numbers or emails for all my "other" reasons I had to need them. I messaged Brittany and asked if she could meet me at the bottom of the building Thursday morning. 

I bought Todd a really cool Groupon. He'll get to body board or try surfing at an indoor wave generator place for two 30 minute sessions. He doesn't get to fish and hunt now that we're in Texas, so he doesn't have many outlets to burn some energy. I put the print out of that in an envelope and bought him Reece's and Kit Kat's. Brittany met me and took the gift up to work. She got Lauren (another coworker) to get him away from his desk so she could secretly place it in his cube. 

He was really surprised and confused how I got it all to work out. :) And he's excited about the body boarding.

Day 5

Words of Affirmation

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Yesterday morning we said some sweet things to each other about how much we love each other and how lucky we are to have one another. Todd got his lunch break off to take me to Perry's which is a super nice steakhouse in downtown. The food was incredible! 

He also got work off early so we could go to Tiffany and Adam's to watch the Boise State game. It's super fitting because the day before we got married we attended a Boise State game together. During halftime, I sang our wedding song to him. I cried a lot (which I knew I might but really didn't want to), but got through it. Our song is The Reggae Song by Colors. It's not very well known but it's fun and flirty and I love it.

It was an awesome week and I haven't been this happy with life in a long time. Happy Anniversary Todd! Eu te amo.